Captain Mike and Admiral Shelley have a houseboat and they often (very generously) will take their friends out for cruises on the Occoquan River.  Trouble is, today the Admiral is in Ohio.  Do you think Captain Mike can handle a big cruise without the Admiral's help?  Let's see....

Now We're Ready

No, we're not really ready yet.  "Now We're Ready" is just the name of the boat.  Seriously.  You can almost read it over there it on the side.

And you can also almost read it on the life preserver.  See?

But we won't be ready until Diane and Patty get all the food laid out.

The captain perked up when he saw the food.  And with Julia Roberts aboard, maybe he doesn't need an Admiral after all. 

In fact, at the sight of food we all perked up.  We miss the Admiral of course, but just look at those little chicken and roll thingys and all that fruit and the bagels and the cream cheese and the coffee and the doughnut holes and the spicy peanuts and mmmmmmm.....Sorry, Shelley.

Oh yeah.  A nice spread indeed.  The people were nice, too.

What's this?  Some crewmembers are late?  The captain seems displeased.

Nothing a little food won't cure.

OK, everybody outside.  The captain wants to make a speech.

First Mate Bill says, "Who, me?"

"Yes, you.  And you, and you, and you."

OK, now that everybody's here, we'll have a safety briefing!  In his most authoratative voice the captain announces, "There are life preservers in this big hole, but don't fall off the boat.  And that's about it...."

The captain makes a last-minute inspection of the ship.  Now we're really almost pretty much I think maybe ready.

Nursing his cup of coffee in one hand, the captain gives directions to his loyal crew with the other.  Actually, now we're ready. Finally.

And now we're underway!  This is a movie.  Click on the "play" button and watch the intrepid captain pilot his vessel to the open sea.

The captain has lots of help.

Lots of happy help!

And a smiling first mate.  Wait a minute, I thought Bill was the first mate?  What's going on here?

Oh.  So that's what's going on here.

The happy help give lots of good advice.

Oh look!  It's ... A bird?  A plane? ....

Patty is thinking that if the captain doesn't stop pointing at the sights and chatting with the women, he's going to run over something.

So she announces, "If you're not going to watch where you're going, I'll drive."

She's good at it, too.

The old man and the sea.  Jean is reassured by Bill's confidence.

Not so fast, Patty!  Diane wants to be a cub pilot on the Occoquan, too!

Bill wonders if this is such a good idea.

Soon, Diane has had enough and, YIKES!  Ebony takes over.

Hey, leave her alone.  She's a natural.

Alphonso is impressed.

Now it's time for Gretchen to take charge.  She seems concerned, but not to worry ... If anything goes wrong, the captain can control the whole boat with that little gizmo hanging from his neck.  Really!

But Ken wonders if this is really such a good idea.

Bill doesn't care.  He's too busy sending photographic evidence to the Admiral.

When it comes to maneuvering the boat, Bill always pitches in to help.  You can count on Bill.

This has been a great foggy misty chilly cruise and now the captain is heading back into port.  But how are we ever going to get this big boat back into that itsy bitsy little slip up ahead?

Give the job to Diane, of course.  Isn't that how it always works?

Ta daaaa!  A perfect landing.

Look, a very lost surfer dude. 

And geese.  Don't forget the goose babies.

Ahhh.  Now we're back home safe and sound, thanks to the great skill of all the many riverboat pilots who drove us around.  First Mate Bill (see the T-shirt?) continues to keep the Admiral updated.

It's the whole crew!  Wait a minute, where's Diane?

There's Diane, the first mate, standing next to ... the first mate.  So who's the second mate?  These navy traditions are confusing.

The captain had FUN today!  But I think he missed his Admiral Shelley.  Actually, I think we all did.  Maybe next time?